Andrea's Story - unplanned pregnancy
Jenni's Story - adoption
Lisa's Story - post abortion healing
Greg's Story - abortion and men
Kate's Story - choosing abstinence
Andrea's Story
My name is Andrea. A few years ago, I was in a relationship that I wasn't really happy about. It wasn't a stable relationship, and I knew that. However, I became pregnant. I knew the father really didn't want the child, and in the past, I said I'd never have an abortion, but being the circumstances, I felt it was my only option. I had called several places seeking to find an abortion and randomly dialing, I called the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic.
I asked, "Do you all perform abortions?" And, the counselor said no, but asked if I wanted a pregnancy test and a sonogram. She said having the sonogram can let you know if your pregnancy is viable…if it was surviving so far. I was really concerned about that, because I was thinking, hey, if this child doesn't even have a chance of making it, it would make me feel less guilty as opposed to me purposely aborting my own child.
As I came into the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic, everyone was so very nice. My counselor and I began to talk about the reasons why I was there. I told her about the bad relationship and my fear of what my family and the people from my church would think. My counselor asked me some questions about my beliefs. I felt I already knew abortion was not the will of God but with me battling and me being in the circumstances, I felt there was no other option.
I was still having some issues about how I was going to tell my family--the humiliation I was going to have to go through, so abortion was still a thought in my mind. I was too early to do a sonogram that day, and I was due to come back the next week.
I had already made an appointment or so to have an abortion done from calling around before. As I was waiting to come back to the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic to do my sonogram, I still had the option of having that abortion. So I prayed and told God I needed to know that this is not what He wanted me to do…even though I knew myself that it wasn't what God wanted me to do. But the pressure that was surrounding me with the circumstances of telling my family, disappointing my family, and raising a child by myself was pushing me towards having an abortion.
Well, the day for the abortion appointment came: September 19th, I'll never forget it. That day is also the day Hurricane Isabel came and shut down the city, the whole East coast! I knew that God was telling me this was not His will for this child. God led me to the scripture in Deuteronomy, "I set before you blessings and curses - choose life that you and your seed may live." And, so from that I was determined that I was going to have my daughter who is now the joy of my life, Elora, which means the light of God. I am just so grateful to the Pregnancy Clinic because I know that they were used by God to intervene in the areas where I was uncertain and they gave me that connection I needed back to God. Each and every time I see my daughter, she fills my heart with joy, and I thank God for her because she is a gift from God to me, and I am grateful to the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic.
Jenni's Story
Hi, my name is Jenni, and I was a client at the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic. I got pregnant, and for the first 3 and a half months of my pregnancy, I didn't tell anyone. Call it denial or simply just being really, really scared about what was gonna happen. I didn't tell anyone until one night I came home from living with my boyfriend. I went to sleep that night with the plan of the next morning having an abortion. My mother came down not once, not twice, but three times to ask me what was wrong. The first and second times I said "Nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, go back to bed," and my mom being the spiritual leader that she always has been in my life, says "no, you're not telling me the truth." And God had been waking her up all night telling her that she needed to come and speak to me.
And so the next morning she took the day off work and she brought me to Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic. I sat in a room with a counselor, and she talked with me about my choices and even told me about her younger brother who was adopted. I remember going into the sonogram room, and I didn't want to look at the sonogram screen. As I heard the heart beat, tears welled up in my eyes, and I felt I had to turn my head and take a look at the life that was growing inside of me.
I was getting dressed and my mom saw a penny on the floor face down and she picked it up and she looked at me and she said, "Jennifer, look, a penny." And I said "Mom, what do you think that's gonna bring me good luck?" And she said "yes." And, she now tells the story that she knew that day that two lives were gonna be saved--mine and my son's. Needless to say, 7 and a half months later, my son was born.
Through my experiences here and the help of my home church along with the prayers of so many people that I don't even know their names, a relationship was renewed with me and God. There are so many decisions to be made while you're pregnant: what are you gonna do with the baby and how are you gonna raise him...I knew that I just wasn't ready. And, I knew deep down in my heart that God had amazing things for this child but that God had made him in His sight for another family. And, that's why I choose an adoption plan for my son, and that's why he lives with the most amazing family. And they've blessed me with being able to have his middle name chosen by myself which is David.
The day that my mom took off work and brought me to Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic, there were no other pregnancy centers in the area that would see us that day. Bowie Crofton was the only one, and they didn't just drop me after I came in that day. They continued to call and to pray. I can't explain anymore other than how truly thankful and blessed I am by all of the people who are devoting their time to young women's lives like me. And, to God be the glory, because His plans are far greater than I would have ever imagined for myself.
Lisa's Story
Hi, my name's Lisa. I was a client to the Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic. I was in a crisis pregnancy and this was my fourth pregnancy. The other pregnancies had ended in abortion. I came to the clinic because it was on the way to my child's father's house, so we stopped in and took at test. When I came in, immediately I felt it was a safe place. I was met with gentleness where as the other clinic I went to before when I was much younger, it was more coercion. Here I was told the truth. I was not told the truth at the other clinic I went to when I was younger.
I didn't really have many physical or monetary needs at the time. After having the test, I didn't become like a typical client...just really went on with my life, and now have a beautiful daughter who's 6 and also one that's 3.
I continued to come every fall to a fund-raiser Bowie Crofton Pregnancy Clinic had in order to support the center that had supported me. Every time I was there I would pick up one of the brochures that talked about Post Abortion Bible studies. I had kept putting it on the back burner. Finally, I made the call.
At the group meeting, I found myself asking myself, how did I get here? What am I doing here? What am I going to say? Is there really a healing that needs to happen? But I found out soon enough that I was pretty much in denial. I did need healing and there was a lot of pain, a lot of anger, and there was a great loss from my abortions that I had never had the opportunity to share with anybody or to experience. Everything was put on hold. I was kind of still stuck back at that old clinic back when I was younger, in many ways I was still stuck there.
The leadership, the facilitators of the study held our hands all the way through. It was a place to go where you could safely open up an old wound and allow healing to come in. Healing that I didn't even know I needed. The memories I have of my past were pretty painful, and I was afraid to share it with anyone until this time. The environment in this study was such that it was a refuge, a place to focus, a place to open up and let Jesus touch the wounds and not deny them anymore.
Being able to be in a room, in a confidential environment, with other ladies who had been through what I had been through was huge. It made me feel like I could be vulnerable and explore without being worried what someone might think about me. The facilitators were great because they guided us gently through this process, uncovering each layer as it was time to--when we were ready.
I had a memorial service for my aborted children and now when I think about it, it's not something I have to stuff down. That would have never happened if I had not gone into this study and pushed through the pain rather than stuffed it down and gone around it. I don't think that can happen on your own. I think what the pregnancy clinic does is create this atmosphere of healing and hope.
My marriage is better now. My relationship with the two daughters that I have is wonderful. This study and these women allowed me to explore and get down to the root, and now it's gone. I am grateful for that.
Greg's Story
to come
Kate's Story
Hi, my name is Kate. I am twenty-one years old, and eight years ago on my thirteenth birthday, my dad took me to a small Dunkin' Doughnuts shop. The reason for this occasion was because he had a special birthday present for me. He pulled out a fuzzy little box, and it contained a gold ring with seven sapphires across the band. Well, sapphire is my birthstone, and I thought it was just a really nice birthday present. But, he wouldn't let me put the ring on yet. He went on to explain that this ring was to be worn as a symbol of my faithfulness and purity before God, and one day this ring would be a gift to my husband on our wedding day… hopefully this gift would be one that would pale in comparison to all other gifts.
My dad challenged me that day to wear this ring as a constant reminder to seek God's grace in remaining pure in my body, in my mind, and in my emotions until the day when a wedding ring would be placed on my finger. That day has not come yet, but by God's grace I have remained pure--I'm still a virgin. And I want just to tell you a few of the things that helped me, and continue to help me in this difficult area of purity.
Around the same time that Dad gave me my ring, I started thinking about what would help me keep this promise I had made to my father and before God. I didn't hang out with a really good group of kids and so around my freshman year in high school I started looking for some friends who looked like they might have a handle on the whole relationship with God, pure lifestyle thing. I thought this was a tall order, but God provided me with 6 girls, who, to this day, are some of my best friends. I would say the friends that I chose to be with had such a huge influence on the choices I made regarding abstinence, but not just that, on my emotional purity.
When I first started spending time with my friends, I noticed that they didn't just flirt with the guys when they were around and there was no hint of manipulation or immorality in the way they spoke or dressed. This was something new to me, and it challenged every belief I ever had about relationships and purity. I questioned how I would go about keeping myself pure, because I pictured all these rules and restrictions that I would have to keep. But my friends challenged me to view purity not just as the absence of something, as an actual pursuit of something different. It's all about pursuing something different so you're not tempted just to dwell on what's not the very best for you.
I chose purity because I knew that there could be no greater gift to give to my husband on our wedding day, but also because of the effects I hoped it would have on my life. I knew I'd be protected from pregnancy and STDs, but deeper than that I believed that purity would free me from the emotional scars that can be so devastating. I used to view purity as a bunch of rules and restrictions that I didn't want to take away my independence, but in walking through the past eight years, I've come to realize that really what it is, is freedom. That might seem like a contradiction, but if you are pursuing purity, you are free to be strong, healthy, beautiful and wise. I have found, other people will respect your decision, whether they admit it or not.
A pure heart to me is freedom, and it is something worth fighting for with every fiber of my being, no matter how difficult or how high the price is. I have found it to be so worth the wait. And, I trust that on my wedding day when I give this ring to my husband in that same fuzzy box that he too will say "thank you", thank you for waiting.
